We all have to grow up sometime...

Friday night was a big first for us...a babysitter...that was NOT related to us. Thankfully I am involved in helping to teach a high school aged bible study, so I have a number of trustworthy girls to choose from. Admittingly, it was harder for me than it was for Taylor. Ally (the wonderful babysitter) was warned ahead of time that he would probably cry, so I got a new special book for Ally to give to Taylor when she arrived and he loved it. She took him into his playroom when we left, and he didn't even know we left. I texted her a few times and she reassured me that everything was and would be fine. Dustin and I had a great time at the Christmas party we went to, and on the way home we were debating what we would find when we walked in. I expected Diego to be on and Taylor happily (hopefully) watching TV, ready for us to come home. When we walked in there were no cartoons on and there was a giggling boy running and playing so happy!! He greated me with a happy "Hi Momma!" and Daddy got one to, but then he moved on. He wanted to hug on Ally next...that made me SO happy! Taylor did wonderful, and I did too. Now we have a wonderful babysitter to rely on.

We all have to grow up sometime...I am trying to catch up to Taylor...

Fun Fact #2

Just so you know...Not all "child proof caps" are Taylor proof.

Taylor has been fighting the teething battle for awhile now, so a bottle of Tylenol can usually be found on his changing table/dresser. I was in the extra bedroom sewing one day and Taylor brought me the bottle....empty.

Somehow the little devil got the lid off and then decided he wanted to sling it around the room and then pour the rest in the middle of his carpet.

If you come visit our house, please look over the tie dye carpet in Taylor's room. I cleaned it the best I could :)

Fun Fact

A Diego potty seat will fit PERFECTLY over a two-year-old's head. He does have a rather large head, so keep that in mind. While it was rather easy for the toddler to get on, it is next to impossible for a Mommy to get it off. Somehow they are able to get that perfect agle to slide it on. Sadly, it does scare the child when he can't get it off and the screams and tears prove it. In an attempt to get pictures to prove this, the toddler may have other ideas. They may not want you to move till you get the potty seat off their head, so pictures may not happen. When taking the potty seat off, know that their poor ears may turn red from the pressure, but keep pulling...it will come off. Thankfully this Mommy didn't have to resort to butter on the sides, but she was seconds away.

Just in case you were wondering...

Hard Life of a Two Year Old

Lately Taylor has been perfecting his ability to throw a full blown tantrum. I think he's got it pretty much down pat. Perfect screaming...perfect drop to the ground...and the all important perfect timing. I know he's two... I know most kids go through this...but it is still very embarrassing. Because I over-analyze everything, I've been thinking about why Taylor does this and this is what I came up with.

From Taylor's point of view...the past weekend...

I am sleeping so soundly, having great dreams of slides, tractors and cars...only to be woke up by Daddy. Time to go to Grandma's. I get there and that girl (cousin Raya) is STILL THERE. Sure she's fun to chase around, and she does pick up all my toys that I throw...but she also takes away from the hugs. For some reason, they like her too. I struggle through the day and make it till Mommy finally comes to get me. She's excited about something, so we hurry home. I didn't get to "talk" to Grandpa. Why not? I ask this in a screaming fashion... We get home and she puts this ridiculous outfit on me and constantly asks me to jump like a frog. I showed you once already Mommy...it hasn't changed in the last 5 minutes. Then she wants to take pictures. More pictures....more pictures...and more pictures. I keep telling her I don't like this hat and take it off, but she keeps putting it back on. Then the people start showing up. I did have fun giving them candy, but why can't it eat more than a few pieces??? There is plenty there. They have tons in their bags...I don't get it. Mommy and Daddy keep telling me to put the candy back. Fine. I'll do it, but I won't like it. Finally they take the costume off!! Woo Hoo!

Saturday...yeah for Saturday. I get to sleep in! Mommy comes in when I call for her and gets me out of bed. I get to eat breakfast...waffles, yummy...but Mommy keeps trying to put other nasty things on my plate. I'm not going to eat it. I won't. I don't care if you tell me I'll like it. Nope. After a bit of playing, Mommy says we are going bye-bye. Yeah!! I love to go bye-bye. I run to the car and climb in the front seat. Time to drive! Mommy won't let me. Why not?? WHY NOT?? Then I find out we are going grocery shopping. Not too bad...just hurry every chance you get Momma. You know you only have a small time frame here before I am over it. I'll time you...GO! Finally the fun part of the store, the frozen food! My FAVORITE part! I love to open and close the doors...and open and close and open and close and open and close... No one ever tells us to stop, so why does Mommy make me?? If I scream loud enough maybe she'll give in. No luck. Back at home. Time for a nap. Not excited about it, but I am kind of tired. Fine...I'll give in. Wake up from a great nap to find Daddy. Yeah!! Going bye-bye again! We end up at Grandpa and Grandma's house. Now there are more people there. Aunt Kary and Uncle Ray and Jacob have come to pick up Raya. Why do they want me to hug them so bad? Why does Aunt Kary want a kiss so bad? I didn't give you one the first time, I'm not going to give you one the 20th time you ask me. Get over it. Time to go home...boy am I tired.

Sunday...get to sleep in AGAIN! Mommy comes to wake me and it's off to church we go. She's always so worried about my hair and sprays me with that dumb water bottle. I wish she'd stop. Now we're at church. We pass the slides and swings, but we can't stop. Get to the classroom and she leaves me!! Where did she go? Is she coming back? These people are nice enough but WHERE IS MY MOMMY?? After what seems like forever...she comes back, whew. Time for a nap...I guess... Wake up and play and then Mommy puts that dumb costume on me AGAIN. I'll show you ONE TIME how a frog jumps. Pay attention Mommy, you're only getting this once. Get to Grandpa and Grandma's house. More pictures. I don't want to hold Raya's hand...I don't want to sit down with her. Not going to do it. Why doesn't she have to wear a hat?? I go into the playroom/office and see the greatest toy ever. A SLIDE!!! Let me push it out into the living room so I can play with it. Mommy comes to put it up. She says it's time to go to church. I don't want to go...I want to slide. Maybe if I scream loud enough she'll give in. Didn't work. We get to church and there are way too many people telling me how cute I am, and wanting to touch me. Don't like it, not one bit. I don't want to play the games. I don't want to ride the train. I want to take this costume off!!! Whoa...wait a second. I see a car. I see a car with a big steering wheel. Maybe if I reach for this nice man, he'll put me in his car and let me drive. It worked! He was handing out candy out of the trunk and let me play in his car. This is great!!! Then Mommy ruined my fun and took me out. Time to cry. Let's try louder...didn't work. Finally go back home and take the costume. I hope that is the end of that.

So as you can see...it's rough being a two year old. I have every reason in the world to throw a tantrum :) I don't know why people don't understand this...

Too Quick!

If you have children...don't blink, you might miss something.

Taylor is growing up too quick! Everyday he gets more animated and is developing quite the sneaky personality. Yesterday I laid him down for a nap when I got him home and he fought and fought and fought. He DID NOT want to lay down and he DID NOT want to take a nap. Usually if I leave him in there (he's still in the crib) he'll stop fighting it and give in and lay down. I was in the guest bedroom sewing and I could hear him talking and yelling for me. All of a sudden, it stopped. I figured he had finally given in and laid down. Then I hear a big BOOM! I run into the room to find Taylor standing at the door "Hi Momma! Hi Momma!" AND he has taken his clothes off.

Wow...he's two...he's REALLY REALLY two.

Lately I have heard that three is the new two...if that is true, don't tell me yet :)

They are still out there...

Yesterday morning I did my normal routine. Got up REALLY early...got ready...went to get my purse together...made sure I had everything...went to the diaper bag to get my wallet (we had went shopping the day before, so I put it in there), and IT WAS NOT THERE. So I go back to my purse and make sure I hadn't gotten ahead of myself and put it in there, and it wasn't there either. Now I go to the truck and search it to see if I dropped it when we went shopping the night before, not there either. Now I feel sick. I then search the the house to see if Taylor happened to get it out and play with it...can't find it... By this point I was freaking out. Dustin got up and helped me look, and he couldn't find it. I called Wal-Mart to see if someone had turned it in...nope.

I now calm myself as best I can and call to cancel all my cards. Great. Now I am thinking through everything I had in my wallet... Again, I feel sick.

Before I head to work, I figure it wouldn't hurt to drive out to Wal-Mart to see if someone else had found it. Sadly, no....

Now I head into work...driving very carefully, because it wouldn't be a lot of fun to get pulled over without a license... Over the next few hours I continue to check on the activity on my cards and there hasn't been any yet. Then Dustin calls. He tells me to write down the number he was giving me. He had just gotten a call from First TN about my wallet. Turns out someone found it in the parking lot and picked it up and was trying to get ahold of me. I called her and she had my wallet at her house!!!!!

I went to her house to get it and could not believe everything was still there. She wanted me to go through my wallet in front of her, so I knew she didn't steal anything.

It's nice to know there are nice people out there still...

Embroidery Machine For Sale

I am selling my Embroidery Machine! I am wanting to upgrade and need to sell mine first.

It's a Deco 330 by Bernina. It's a wonderful machine and super easy to use.

Please let me know if you are interested and and I can get you more info!!

It has begun...

Through Taylor's life, he's been a great baby. He was always in a good mood, rarely cried, ate and slept well...then he became a toddler :) Now he still is such a blessing to us, but he is VERY two years old. The past few days, I've gotten a taste of the fun that is to come.

For one, we had his two year well visit yesterday. When we got there, he was in a great mood. He was talking to everyone, waving and everyone, and acting like he was so big. Then it went downhill from there. The first thing they did, was prick his finger. Why would they do that FIRST? I understand it takes time to process, but could they not have done that after he saw the doctor and then give him the results?? Anyway, he wasn't happy about having his finger stuck and after that he was glued to me and didn't want anyone else to touch him. He did get distracted by the band-aid on his finger, and that helped for a few minutes, but Taylor loves stickers right now and to him the band-aid was a fun sticker to put on him. Not a big deal, except his finger was pouring blood, so he got blood all over me, the floor and himself. Finally that stopped bleeding and the doctor came in. He immediately began to tell the doctor "bye bye" repeatedly I guess in hopes that he would get the hint and leave :) When the doctor started to talk to him and examine him, he began to cry and scream. That didn't stop for a good 20 minutes. Keep in mind Taylor has always loved our pediatrician and never minded going to the doctor...so this was new to us all. We finally got through the exam and then he got a flu shot...more fun. The doctor said Taylor was doing great. He recommended us to get him evaluated by speech therapy, so that will be our next stop. He said it may be helpful, or they may say he's just a boy...they tend to develop speech slower. He is 35 inches tall (65th percentile), 31 lbs and 2 oz (80th percentile), and his head was 51 cm (94th percentile).

Secondly, I had my first encounter with 911. Not because we had an emergency, not because something was wrong, but because Taylor called. He loves to babble endlessly to anyone or no one on the other line of the phone, so when he was playing with the phone while I was sewing I didn't think anything of it. Then he started to act like he was actually talking to someone. He would say a few things, then wait, they say a few things, then wait, so I went over to him and I heard someone on the phone saying "Sweetie...is your mommy or daddy home? I really need to talk to your mommy or daddy." I took the phone from him and he had called 911 and I got a lecture about being more careful and if he calls again, we will be fined. Wonderful.

The fun of toddlerhood has began :)

Sick?

Working in the medical field has opened my eyes to all kinds of people. Now that I am actually doing clinical work and asking all the "before test" questions, I get to hear all that the patients have to say. We have a wide variety of patients, from young 20 somethingers who have positive family history to 80 year olds who are in for their yearly stress test, but sadly across the board there are so many people who WANT to be sick. Granted, no one ever admits they are faking, or embellishing but it is easy to tell, even with my limited medical knowledge. I can't imagine wanting to be sick, or being dissapointed when a test comes back negative. Many, many times when we are done stressing patients and the cardiologist speaks with them and tells them their strips look great, they question them. Are you sure? Did he/she see something when I was having pain? How long has he/she been a doctor? Does he/she know what they are doing? How many of these tests have they done?

Also, the medication lists... I understand medicine is almost inevitable, but some of these people have to have platinum cards to the drug stores (preferably Walgreens).

I like being healthy...I like not taking medicine...I like it when I go to the doctor and they tell me everything looks good. So now I ask myself...Is that weird??

Rough Mommy Days

Over the past week or so, my heart has been challenged as a mother. I know this is all a part of it, but it just seems to have fallen together all of a sudden. For one, Taylor had his big first fall. Check out his blog for some pictures. He is fine, and things could have been MUCH worse, but all the same, it still broke my heart to see him hurting. The first few nights after he had fallen were rough and it wasn't because anything was seriously wrong, it was because he could not get comfortable. He moves alot when he sleeps, so he kept hitting his scrapes, or rubbing up against the bed rail and just wanted Mommy to hold him. You know there is something wrong with Taylor or he doesn't feel well when he voluntarily wants you to hold him :) He has become too busy for this, so while I didnt like that he was hurting, I did enjoy the cuddling.

Secondly, on my way to dropping off Taylor yesterday morning I came across something I never wanted to see. While traveling in front of Bonnie Kate there was a child struck by a car. It was two cars behind me, so I didn't see it happen, but I did see all the parents on the other side of traffic react. Traffic was stopped and there was a father watching his car in front of me, and he said he would stay there, so I went to see if I could help. While my medical knowledge is basic, I didn't see anyone else trying to help. There were a few other women calling 911, but no one helping the child or his mother, who was right across the street when this happened. Both parties were screaming and crying, but for the most part the boy looked okay. Clearly scared, he was trying to climb on top of his mother, so that was a good sign. His movement looked fine and all I could see was a large gash on his head where he hit the pavement. I tried my best to comfort both him and the mother, but she made it perfectly clear that she did not want anyone touching her son that was not a doctor. Thankfully I heard sirens a few seconds later, so they were there quickly. I can't imagine how that would feel to see it happen, especially to your own children. Turns out the woman driving the car was trying to dial her cell phone and was not paying attention. Both children involved are fine and the driver has been punished. When I dropped Taylor off, all I wanted to do was hug him. He'll be big enough to go to school soon enough, and I can't imagine having to pass on the responsibility of watching him onto others.

Lastly, one of my worst fears happened. Usually I don't drop Taylor off in the mornings. Dustin goes into work later, so he does that, but today Dustin was out of town and I had a dentist appointment. When I went to tell Taylor bye bye, he cried. I tried to distract him, but he kept crying. After I walked outside, he opened the front door and stood at the glass storm door and cried more. I could see him as I was driving away...STILL CRYING. I looked back as I was up the street, and he was still there...talk about breaking your heart. It took everything I had to keep going to work. I know he was fine in a few minutes, but at that moment he was crying for me.

They really can play a number on your emotions, but also fill you with so much love at the same time.

Job Idea

Lately I have enjoyed some good "girly" movies (if you haven't seen Catch and Release...it's really good!) and I've decided there is a great need in "real life" for a new career for someone out there. In almost all great movies that pull at your heart strings or leave you feeling happy at the end there is that one or two lines that stick out. Think of your favorite movie or that one movie you could watch over and over and over again...I can almost guarantee that you know those lines in them...and you are thinking of them now and smiling.

You've heard of Life Coaches, well I want to take it one step further...we need Life Scripters. Somehow these people would be able to feed you that perfect line at the perfect time, so we could live these moments in our own lives and not have to watch someone else enjoy them.

New 90210

So I have officially been sucked in... I have always been a sucker for teeny-bopper dramas, and the new 90210 is no exception. I have always LOVED the original 90210 and still watch the re-runs now. I was afraid they would try to type cast the new cast into the same roles as the old show, but they really didn't. There are lots of similarities in some of the characters, but it is definitely not a carbon copy of the original. Another aspect I liked is the tie-ins to the old story lines. Kelly Taylor is a guidance counselor and Brenda Walsh is back!!! For those of us who watched the old show were able to giggle at the inside jokes they threw in there through the whole episode. Kelly was even able to laugh at herself and her old character at one point. They did leave it open to follow the original cast and the new ones. I love it!! I already have tons of questions that need answers...Who is the father of Kelly's kid? Where is David in all the Silver family drama?

The writers did a great job getting new watchers and appealing to us original fans. They got me :)

Thanks to Everyone

I think I am FINALLY done with my drama at work...at least for a week or so. I found out on Friday that I get to keep my job!! My "boss" got a second CVT position approved from the high-high ups, so we both get to have a job. That is where the drama will start again. The man who started all the drama starts to work on Sept. 2. Awkward...

It's going to be uncomfortable for many people and we need to give him the benefit of the doubt, but that is hard. He stirred up a lot of drama for a lot of people and caused a lot of undue stress on not only myself, but most everyone in the department. I also know it's going to be hard for him to come into "hostile territory" but he did bring it on himself.

Since I am completely off the subject...I wanted to say thank you to everyone who had me in their thoughts and prayers. I greatly appreciate each and every one of them.

Window anyone?

When God closes a door he opens a window.

We've all heard it, and it is for sure easier to say than it is to hear. I'm sure we've all said it to someone in one way or another. Why does it seem to change meaning when we are the one hearing it? Right now in my life I am having issues at work with my job and there are other emotional burdens I am having to carry.

I have really begun to like my job. I didn't know how I would feel about the clinical part of the medical field, but once I learned more about my expectations and had support at work to learn, I've really begun to enjoy it. I've always been one that loved school. I loved learning and I loved being able to prove myself wrong when I did good on a test or exam that was impossible. Everyday at work I learn more. If anyone wants to know the path the blood takes through the heart or the electrical path that our heart shoots to cause an EKG and the problems that might happen, I'd be happy to share :) This is not what I want to do for the rest of my life, but it is in the right direction. For now I am trying to take in the opportunity that I probably would not have been able to get had I not known the right people.

On Thursday I found out that the guy who does my job at Baptist East has filed an formal complaint through the Union regarding my job. Baptist East has had a Union for a long time, and Mercy Health Partners has agreed to honor it and it's members till August 1. He feels now that his job is in jeopardy, he is obligated to mine. Sadly, upper level management agrees. At this time I do not have a Manager or a Director to fight for me, and my Team Leader is doing all she can. I have some doctors on my "side" that are talking to anyone who will listen, but I don't know what good it is going to do. When I was offered and even when I started my job this guys job was NOT in jeopardy at all, but the new administration doesn't want to start a fight with the Union, so it sounds like they are going to give in. I haven't given up completely, but I am trying to see the reality in the situation.

There will be other jobs, there will be other opportunities, but I expected Baptist to have more loyalty to me. I've worked for them for 5 years and have given them no reason to question my work ethic or my loyalty to the company.

With this and other problems I am going through, I am getting VERY stuffy in the room I am in. I've seen the door shutting, and I am dying for a window...

Advice Worth Sharing

I know I have been absent for a little bit....but I am now a working woman again. Working with the public again helps me to see how much chatting with strangers can be fun and you get the best stories. You also have to take the good with the bad, so I'm sure I'll have more horror stories than good ones, but thankfully this one is good.

I am working in the same department I was working in before we moved for a little bit, but a very different job. I am now considered clinical and I am working with the patients hands-on. This gives them plenty of more time to chit chat when they are nervous. I've found that sweet, little ladies are the chatters, and they ALL chat because they are nervous.

A few days ago an 87 year old came in for an Adenosine Stress Test and that allows for a good 30 minutes of set-up, test, and take down chatting time. She was very nervous and thankfully the Cardiologist that day was nice and chatted with her. He knew that keeping her talking would distract her on how yucky she was probably feeling. She talked about her 90 year old husband and how he was WW II vet. She also talked of her children and grandchildren and it was amazing how "with it" she was. She said her and her husband had recently celebrated there 70th wedding anniversary. SEVENTY YEARS!! While talking about her husband she had a sweet grin on her face the whole time. She told us how proud she was of him that he could still drive, go to the store, and take care of them. Couples like this give me hope for the future. In a world filled with divorce, separation, and families without marriage, it is reassuring to see that people can still make it work.

We asked her what the secret was. How did she stay married and happy for so long? She smiled really big and gave a little giggle. She then told us that we need to "Always stay in control and keep control in the marriage, but always let him THINK he is in control."

How true...how true...

Sex and the City

If you are a Sex and the City fan, you MUST go see the movie. I went and saw it with my SATC friend, and we both had set ourselves up for a potential disapointment, but the movie lived up to all our expectations. The story line was wonderful and the writers were able to tie up any questions you had about where these characters had gone and where they would go in the future. The store line seems predictable....but watch out...it's not!

The movie is so good, I'm ready to see it again...Any takers??

Compliments

Compliments...aren't they great? As I am trying to make my glass half-full again, I am trying to be more optimistic on life. I've found that compliments are just about the best things you can get and even more fun to give. I've pretty much figured out there are three kinds of compliments I've found. The first is the obvious ones...Lately, I've been giving my new-mother friend "advice" and each time I talk to her I let her know she is doing a great job...because she is. I remember being at that point in life, and just wanting someone to tell me I was doing a good job, and REALLY believeing it. It's one thing for people to say it, which they did, but it's another to really hear it. It's great to be able to help her and to have her value what I have to say.

That is the second way I've found to give and get compliments. She wants my advice...what a great compliment to me. She values my mothering skills enough to want to hear what I have to say, and maybe even follow it! So when people come to you...know that in your heart you can take that as a compliment. Also, when people care enough to check on you for no reason, or for good reason...that is a compliment to yourself. You are a good enough person and friend or family member for them to care. This kind can also be found in the comments you hear about yourself second hand. It's always nice to hear others can say nice things about you, when you aren't there.

The third kind I've found is the trickiest. It's the back-handed compliment. It may not sound like a truly nice thing to say or do, but in reality...it really is. Walgreens does that well :) One of the best compliments I've ever gotten about myself is when I was going through a hard time in life and someone said "I'm really surprised at how normal she turned out..."

Funny how something someone says or does can give you so much strength and hope and they don't even mean to.

May 30

I'm excited!! It is almost time for the Sex in the City movie! I LOVE the show. That may surprise a few people, but it really is hilarious. Some of the topics are a bit much for me and my ears, but the friendship these characters share is wonderful and gives us all girls hope for "that" group of friends. One weekend my friend Katie and I watched every episode. Yup...every episode.

I don't know if I am the only one that does this, but as I get into a show I find myself compairing myself to the characters in it. I do understand it's not reality, but it's fun to find common ground and things to relate to. While I'd like to say I am like Carrie, I am pretty much nothing like Carrie. We do share a love of good shoes though. Her clothes are always so off the wall and I find myself wondering if anyone REALLY dresses like that. I will happily say I am most like Charlotte. She's the most conservative of the four and tends to be the most romantic. She dresses pretty "normal" and it is hard for her to step out on any ledge in life, change is hard for her. The biggest difference in me and Charlotte is Harry. Thankfully, I have more of a Mr. Big/Smith in my life. Also thankfully, I am pretty much nothing like Samantha...she does have a genuine love for her friends, but we won't even go there. Then there is Miranda. While she is a wonderful mother and in the end wants to be happy with Steve, which I can see in my life, she is too judging for me.

I guess I am just a sucker for a good girl movie. While I am blessed with a life worth being proud of, it is always fun to leave reality for a few hours and live in someone else's. Why not Carrie Bradshaw's?

Distractions...

For those of you who check this blog (I appreciate all 5 or so of you..haha!), just wanted to let you know I am still alive. Life has thrown us some distractions lately. One, we are REALLY moving back. We close on a great house in South Knoxville (see picture) on June 2. Dustin has started in the Maryville 411 Walgreens today. Taylor and I will be staying at the condo till we move back, working on packing. I thought I was going to have a few more weeks to pack, but "Walgreens time" kicked in and I've gotta get stuff done in the next few weeks. Thankfully we didn't unpack lots of stuff and so I just have to repack the few boxes I opened and pack up our stuff and leave Taylor's room for last. Taylor and I plan on having lots of "pj days." I don't think he minds :)

Sew Cute Designs

Lots of updates on the sewing site! Be sure to check it out!

I now have a LARGE TOTE that is wonderful. I use it as my diaper bag and carry it everyday. I have another purse to come soon, and more smaller accessories! Keep checking back....

http://sewcutedesigns.googlepages.com

How did this happen??

How did this happen?? I have become a HUGE pessimist. I don't want to be, but every time I look at a glass, it's half empty. I haven't always been like this, and in the future I don't want to be, but for right now....I am.

On that note, I am heading back to the working world. If anyone knows of a great job for someone who has a Psychology degree (but hasn't used it since my first internship where I learned the state of TN cares more about pushing paper through the system than counseling troubled children, and on top of that they pay pennies...), who is anal retentive about organization and knows how to deal with difficult doctors and patients, please let me know :)

Comparisons

Comparisons...do we really need them?? My kid does this, your kid does that...who is normal? Is there a normal?

I understand we need a spectrum to understand the difference between excellence and failure, but my child does not need to be your level of normalcy or not. In the short time I have been a mother there is one thing I know for sure, they learn EVERYTHING on their own and at their own speed. As frustrating as that is, I can't do anything about it...as much as I want to. They all bring different gifts to the table and they all have their own struggles. My child walked way before his cousins, but took longer to point. My child still likes to eat #3 baby food, but babbles more than his cousin...who is normal? My child still wants water in a bottle when he is sick when he goes to bed, but my nieces still have pacifiers, which Taylor does not have. My child is very large for his age, but my niece is tiny...does that make us bad mothers? I know it doesn't, but sometimes in public we may feel like it.

I say this because the next time you want to comment on someones baby or child in public, think first before you say it. I have a friend who has a bigger baby who gets the same comments I do and I have a friend whose child is talking a lot for his age, who also is nervous about it. We all get "those" looks, and as much as we want them to be, no child is perfect. You can have six of one and half dozen of the other, but that doesn't make it any different. We need to understand that they are children, they make their own rules and as much as we want to understand them or even write them for them, we can't. God created them perfect in HIS eyes and they all are.

That doesn't mean I don't want to hear about your child or what they are doing. I am talking about the people that make comments in public and the family you don't see very often or aren't very close to that have their own opinions. That also doesn't mean I have any clue what I am talking about or doing...but I'm a new mother, at least I can blame it on that :)

Funny how it all works out

4 am...not when I thought I would be up, but it's okay. My child woke up screaming and I think he is having bad dreams. Growing up, I dealt with sleep walking and talking. I even still talk to Dustin sometimes in my sleep and I've been known to carry on full conversations and even get angry at times, though I don't think I've done it since I've been pregnant with Taylor. I did that alot when I was pregnant and some of you have heard those funny stories... So I think poor Taylor is having bad dreams. He wakes up and all he wants to do is cuddle.

At 4 am, any person in their right mind would be irritated and aggitated, but not me. This is the only time my 19 month old, go ALL the time, NEVER stop, little boy will cuddle up to me. He reaches around my neck and wants to put his little head on my shoulder. We'll sit in the glider in his room and I'll rock him, and while I used to be able to hold him up while I rocked him, now he sits on my lap and is still able to cuddle up with me. He's so big...

He calms down and he looks up at me and gives me that million dollar smile and tells me "hi" and I know he is ready to go back to bed. I'll give him his water bottle and lay him down with his stuffed frog, and all is well with his world.

Funny how it all works out...my child wakes up upset, and I enjoy the time of cuddling. I've always heard that with all bad things in life, there is something good, I guess having a child helped me to see it more clearly.

It takes all kinds...

It's 4 am and I just got up with a screaming child. I would say baby, but once I picked him up, I realized how un-baby he was. He is getting so big... Anyway, that is not the point. When I got him up out of his bed, we headed downstairs to get a bottle of water and maybe a little milk. I hesitated when I got it for him, because he is 19 months old. I know this is my own OCD talking in my head, and you know what...I know he'll go back to sleep with it, and it helps him when he is upset. He never took a pacifier, as hard as I tried, so oh well if he wants a bottle when he is upset in the middle of the night. I say that to say, it really does take all kinds. For some reason it made me think of a little girl at my neice's birthday party. My sister told me that this 3 year old, pretty and smart little girl, still slept in a crib. I was asking her when she had put her child in a "big girl bed" and it led to the discussion of this little girl. Her parents think she is safer in a crib, so she still sleeps in one. You'd never know it by looking at her, so obviously the parents can't mess up the kids that much :) Not talking bad about them, because we all do what we think is best. So, somewhere out there someone is saying that about me...because I still give my child a bottle at 19 months. But I've come to realize...oh well...it really does take all kinds :)

New Web Site

Please visit my new web site! I finally got it done, and I would love to have feedback from you all. It is very basic, but I think it does the job. Hopefully I will be able to start making money from home and be able to re-evaluate future plans.

God Bless, Caroline

http://sewcutedesigns.googlepages.com

Looking Pretty

If there are any males that read this...I am giving you fair warning that this is a very girly blog...

Yesterday my wonderful husband told me to take the day to myself and go shopping. That may be dangerous, except I am the one who does the finances...so I know how much money we really have :) I had a free panty card from Victoria's Secret, which I love to get! Who doesn't like free stuff...especially underwear. Sure, they only let you get the boring colors for free, but it's still FREE. The card also let me get $10 off any bra. I love Victoria's Secret bras, but hate to pay the price. I decided to try one on. Of course I loved it. Why is it that society puts such an emphasis on us to look pretty and natural, but it costs SO MUCH to do so? Just like everything in life...you get what you pay for. Luckily, there was a long lost Victoria's Secret gift card in my wallet!! I ended up paying $8 for a $45 dollar bra. For anyone who cares, the new Biofit Bras are wonderful. I would buy one in every color if I could, but for now I'll have to deal with the one I have :)

Secondly, I was on a mission to find something cute to wear for Easter. Taylor has been sick lately, and is still sick as we speak...but I am thinking positive that he will get better by this weekend. I am patiently waiting on the doctor's office to call me back, to see if I can get him on another kind of antibiotic. Anyway, my mission... It's amazing how I've forgotten how to shop for myself. It's really easy to shop for Taylor and even easy to shop for Dustin, but since I've had a child...I've forgotten how to shop for me!! Tragic...I know... I am a shopper, but now I second guess EVERYTHING and debate on the price. While looking for a bridal shower present I saw something I just had to try on. They had to be the cutest pair of shoes I've ever seen. A pair of pink and white polka-dott pumps. During my 27 years of life I've never bought a pair of "fun" shoes. Don't get me wrong...I love shoes, especially heels, but normally I wear boots. My family is not blessed with the smallest of ankles, so pumps tend to draw attention to this. So I tried them on. I loved them. Even better...they are ON SALE! After about 20 minutes of debating, and taking them off and putting them on, rolling my jeans down and pulling them up...I bought them.

So...if my child is better by Sunday and you will see me on Easter, check out my shoes :)

Words, Words, Words

When I was a senior in high school my English teacher, Mrs. Freeman assigned us a 5 minute speech titled, "Words, Words, Words." I remember we could write a poem about what we learned that year and had to site 15 specific things (this is the one I did), talk about a life changing event, talk about our plans for the future, or just about anything we wanted to. I remember people talking about mistakes they had made, problems they had, and the futures they planned to have. While I thought this was just another speech, I remember her talking about the importance of words and the power they had over people. 10 years later, this is one of the most vivid memories I had of this class. I remember people crying through their speeches, I remember people laughing, and I really remember the A I got on the speech :)

10 years later, I realize she is right. You always hear "Actions speak louder than words." I don't know that I believe that anymore. While it is nice when people do nice things for you, and you don't expect it, it also takes alot for someone to look you in the face and say "I love you" or "I am sorry" and really mean it and know in their hearts WHY they love you or why they are sorry. It may just be the sappy girl in me, but words are really starting to mean more. While someone can say they are sorry for something they said, you still remember what they said. You can misunderstand what they mean, but you still heard what they said and they had to think it to say it. You also can remember the times people said "I'm really glad you called" or "I really enjoyed our time together, I had alot of fun" or even simply "I'm praying for you." Maybe it's just because I am such a black and white person or maybe it's because Taylor is starting to talk, but words are becoming more important to me and they stick with me longer.

It's so exciting to see Taylor go in his room, go straight for his fish light and say "fish." Right now it sounds kind of like "dish" but he knows what that is. He comes up to you and signs more, but then says "juice." You ask him to put his toy on the table, and he does it. Words are becoming meaningful to him and not just background noise.

I should have said it then, but better late than never...Thank you Mrs. Freeman.

We are on a roll!!

Another Big Boy Day for Taylor! Last night he went to bed with a sippy cup instead of a bottle and he didn't even drink all the water! I think it is more the cup than what is in it. He never took a pacifier, so I suppose we can deal with a sippy cup :) Also, for lunch today he ate half a cut up hot dog! Never thought I would be so excited about that, but thank goodness for small miracles. Once he realized it wasn't baby food he didn't want it, but at least he ate some of it. That's a start.

Shameless Plug

Hey everyone! I am going to start selling monogrammed items from home to make extra money. I will have bibs, burpcloths, receiving blankets, ribbon blankets, and purses. I am also going to make girl's bows in 3 different sizes. Pictures will soon follow. Please email me with any questions or if you were wanting to know about pricing.

Big Boy Day

Today Taylor had a great Big Boy Day!! I was getting ready to lay him down for his nap, and realized his bottle liners were still packed downstairs with the dirty clothes. Instead of going to get them, I attempted to lay him down for a nap with a sippy cup instead of a bottle. He slept!! Woo Hoo! He has his 18 month visit to the doctor in early March and I can't wait till they ask me if he is completely off the bottle.

Also, we walked outside to get the mail today and he held my hand all the way to the mailbox and around the pond in front of our complex! He has never been a big hand holder, so I try to practice when I can. He was even holding my hand back, not just me clutching to his for dear life.

Then his day was complete when we went to the fabric store Mommy found in Johnson City. He was in his stroller and did great. He talked to the nice ladies cutting Mommy's fabric, but he was really excited when two sorority girls started to play peek-a-boo with him. They were waiting to talk to the owner about donating to their fund-raiser. The owner was not there, but they stayed to talk to Taylor. They made him laugh and giggle and he wanted to get out of his stroller SO BAD to play with them. When they were ready to leave he got a little fussy, because he had to stop flirting I suppose, so I gave him some puffs to eat. That made him happy till one of the girls turned to say "bye, bye" and he couldn't respond because he was elbow deep in some puffs. She started to walk away and the other girl stopped her and said "Just wait a minute, he'll be done in a second. I want to see him say bye, bye." They waited and he flapped his arms and told them "bye bye" over and over and over. They said bye to eachother at least 5 times. What a little flirt....

House Hunting

I don't know that there is many things I hate more than house hunting. I think I know what a house would look like in our price range, but I'm always wrong. We spent the weekend looking and found a few to look into, but nothing really great. The city is WAY more expensive, but you are paying for the school system, and in Knoxville you can get alot more for your money than in Maryville. To throw another wrench in this mess, I am a city girl who loves Maryville City schools, and Dustin would be more than happy in Louisville with a huge lot. There is a middle ground...I know there is...somewhere. We found a house in the city this weekend we both liked, by looking at it. Great neighborhood...near family...rancher with a basement, and it was For Sale By Owner. I called them...319,000...ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? He claimed, emphasis on claimed, the house was 3600 square feet. There is NO WAY, he had to have been counting the garage, driveway and the yard. Good luck to him.

I don't know if he knows it or now, but I am waiting on our realtor to make magic happen...he can do it, I have faith.

If anyone knows of a good sized rancher, with a basement (finished or not) that they could point our way...I am all ears.

My Two Sons

Dustin wanted Taylor to take a nap with him the other day. He took him to bed with him and laid down with him. I knew how this would go...but I let him try. It didn't work. He ended back up in his crib and Dustin in his bed. Later on that night, before Taylor's bath, this is what I found :)

Guilt

What a strong emotion...guilt. Someone very wise once told me that you can't feel guilt unless you have something to feel guilty for. I used to believe that, but now I beg to differ. Being a mother brings it on for me. I feel guilty when I am not playing with Taylor and doing something for me. I feel guilty when I can't buy him new clothes all the time. I feel guilty when we battle at lunch or dinner time because he doesn't want to eat or try new things. I feel guilty when I lay him down with a water bottle, because he is 17 months old. I feel guilty when I think I want to go back to school, because that is more sacrifice on my family, especially my son. I feel guilty to think I won't be with him during the day. I feel guilty to think my husband will have to sacrifice his big house with a big yard for me to go back to school. I feel guilty that Taylor won't be able to get a sibling for a few years, if I do go back to school. I feel guilty even thinking these thoughts...because I know it's just me...being me...over-analyzing.

Happy Valentine's Day!

I got a great Valentine's day surprise...Roses! I was not expecting anything because we are trying to be budget minded these days, but my wonderful husband (and son...it says so on the card) got me a dozen roses! Dustin is not the romantic type, and he can't keep a secret, so this took alot of thought and effort out of him. I was very proud of him. It is a little known fact that me and Dustin started dating in high school...TEN YEARS AGO...on Valentine's day, so this year was a little more special.

Ideal Situtation

For those of you that know me, know that I am a VERY type-A person. I am a list taker and if I don't have a list at the grocery store, I feel lost and end up buying nothing I need and everything I don't. Whenever I go on a long trip, I make a list of everything I will need, and then everything I need to pack the next morning along with everything I might forget. I try to be organized and stay on top of things, but sometimes having too many lists and over-analyzing is my biggest fault. Going along with my lists, I makes plans. Every time life throws me a curve, I try to make a plan. To throw a wrench into my plans, I am a perfectionist, so naturally my plans are perfect. This leads to a lot of expectations not being met. I've heard from many people I love that my expectations are too high sometimes and that worry will just drive me nuts. I know this, but it's hard to change some habits in life. Through my son's life I have learned that the "right way" and the "right time" are usually NEVER mine. As much as I want it to be, it won't be. This has helped me in his life and I think I have gotten better when it comes to him.

I say this to talk about my current life plan. I had the next two years of my life and my family's life planned out...."had" being the key word. I had our "ideal situation" laid out and knew I would be disappointed if it didn't come through. Well...it didn't, and that is okay. I've learned from this that there really isn't an "ideal situation" for anyone only ideal people in the life that you are living. Sometimes plans are more trouble than they are worth, and I need to learn to let things happen and not over worry about timing in life.

I've also learned that stress and too high of expectations can lead to hurt feelings, people saying things they don't really mean (or at least I hope they don't), and long silent rides home.

With this being said, there is no "ideal situation" anymore, just "ideal people" and I am glad I have been blessed with them in my life.

Must be a Mistake

There must be a mistake. That is the only logical explanation.

I sent in Taylor's picture to Regis and Kelly's Beautiful Baby Search and if you were a finalist, they were going to be calling you sometime this week, so you could be swept away to New York for the tapings next week. It is now Friday and they have not called yet.

Path in Life

My faith is very important to me, so in that respect I do believe we have a set path in life. God has created a path for us, and he knows our lives before we live them, but what happens when there is a fork in the road? There are two distinct ways we can go, neither better than the other, but both very different. How do you know which way is "better."

So...Does anyone know where I can get a map?

Thought of the Day

Inner dialogue...We all have one. Those thoughts and questions we have in our head that we know we shouldn't vocalize. How old is she? How much does she weigh? I wonder if she has had work done? Etc. Etc. For those of you sitting there saying "I don't do that..." You are lying and just for thinking that...yes you do :)

So with that being said, I would like to add another to the list. I wonder if her child is ____(fill in age here)? Now don't get me wrong...I don't think it is bad and I don't mind when someone comes and asks me "How old is your child?" but I don't appreciate it when they throw a random number out there. For example, Taylor and I were in Wal-Mart checking out when the check out lady started talking to him. No biggy...they usually do, he is a good looking kid...if I do say so myself... Anyway, this is how it went. (I can fill in my own inner dialogue because I know that is what I was thinking, I had to guess on hers.)

Her: "Oh what a cute boy you have!"

Me: "Yes, we are very blessed to have a wonderful child."

Her: "He must be about 2 1/2. I have a grand child that age and he's about that size."

Me: "Actually he just turned 17 months. He's a little bit big for his age."

She then stopped checking me out and stared at Taylor and said "Wow...he really is large."

My inner dialouge kicks in "Large..are you kidding me...he's a child, not a size at McDonalds. He is large, but you know what...one day your grandkid is going to be sitting at home or in college wishing he could have Taylor's autograph. Taylor will be playing in the SEC championship or the majors...being large."

While she is standing there STILL STARING I can just hear in her head "Oh my goodness...what is she feeding this child??"

So when she finally stopped staring and she finished checking us out and we left.

With that being said, Taylor has been in the 80th or so percentile all his life in height, weight, and head size. Dustin's side of the family has a history of tall, stout men. Taylor is going to be a big kid. His Granddad thinks he is going to be "the heavy weight champion of the world."

Whew....I feel better...

Any Ideas??

Taylor has learned that climbing stairs is SOOOO much fun. I constantly find him half way or all the way up the stairs many, many times a day. Does anyone have any ideas on how to block the stairs off? We can't put a gate at the bottom due to the opening on the side and we can't put a gate on the fourth stair (where Taylor is sitting) due to the hand rail. We won't be living in this condo past May probably, so major drilling or renovations can not be done. I am desperate for ANY ideas :) I am having trouble getting anything done in the basement because I can't leave him alone in the living room. This is a problem because the laundry and ironing is in the basement and more importantly my embroidery machine is down there!

Time Flies

Over the past few days I have been going through all of Taylor's pictures and saving them to disk. We got a new web cam and we needed more space on the computer to load the software. I have been deleting thousands of pictures...yes, I did mean to write THOUSANDS. I couldn't bring myself to delete any of them, till now. I know they aren't really deleted because I can still see them, but it was hard to delete the pictures of the day he was born, when he smiled for the first time, crawling, walking, etc. etc.

I've always heard that kids grow up fast, but I didn' t believe it till now. I had some post-partum issues after Taylor was born and I sadly found myself thinking "If we can just get through this stage, I'll be okay..." Now I would give anything to go back to "that" stage. It's never as bad as you think it is, and Taylor is such a blessing in our lives. God has given us a wonderful baby.

Being at home with Taylor is sometimes a challenge. He is full of ALL BOY and never sits still. He finds something new to get into each day and has learned those few things that press my buttons and he does them over and over and over... **Funny quick story - For some reason Taylor loves to play with the stereo. He loves to press the buttons and push the CD button so the tray comes out and tear all the DVD's off the shelf they are on. One day he was doing this many, many times and I had reached the spanking stage (past warnings, threats and counting). I asked him to please leave the stereo alone. I told him if he touched it again I was going to get his booty. He then looked me square in the eye, leaned back on his arms and touched the stereo with one toe. I had to leave the room not to laugh! ** Even though it's a challenge, I wouldn't change a thing. Now that I have been able to look back over the last 17 months of his life, it seems like I was miserable pregnant last week. I would do it all over again in a second.

So now I am one of "those" mothers. The kind that look at their kids and say "you've grown up too fast!!"

Target Snob

It's official...I am a Target snob. I know I know...I should just be happy about having a Target in my area, but why does it have to be so old?? I went there for 3 or 4 things and they only had ONE of them. I had a great idea for Dustin for Valentine's Day, but surprise surprise...they didn't have it!! They clearly had a place for it, but the shelf was empty. I asked someone when they do restocking, and they said "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Saturday." Wonderful. That's helpful.

I miss Super Target of Maryville...and even Turkey Creek...

Questions of the Day

One - Did whoever said "Silence is Golden" have a 17 month old? I ask this, because today I found myself listening for the silence. While we are living in Jonesborough, we are in a condo and our makeshift office is in the kitchen. I can do things in the kitchen and listen to Taylor play in the next room. Today I was using my new label maker, which is wonderful by the way, to label anything I could, and I noticed the silence. Knowing my child... this isn't very safe, unless Diego is on. I found my spider monkey of a boy half-way up the stairs. He has decided it is SOOO much fun to go up stairs. Sadly, he doesn't enjoy going down quite as much. Once we got settled back down, he went to the toy store, oh, I mean our living room, and played in his ball pit. A little bit later, silence hit again. I snuck into the living room and found Taylor trying his hardest to climb around, and so carefully not touch, the bean bag that blocked his way up the stairs. We have a sneaky boy on our hands.

Two - How many teeth will a child get??? I feel like we have battled teething for a year now. Taylor is now getting two more teeth and has been working on two others for a little bit now. We keep Tylenol and Motrin on hand at all times. While I appreciate people asking me if we are keeping Orajel on them, I enjoy my fingers. When you find your fingers knuckle deep in a toddler's mouth with like 12 teeth who doesn't enjoy it, you learn to pick your battles. I enjoy having 10 fingers.

Inspired

I became inspired today by my long lost friend Leslie's blog. I happend upon it from a survey on my-space and I found myself reading previous posts and enjoying "learning" about what is going on in her life. I thought to myself, maybe, just maybe, someone might want to do the same thing on mine. It was also enjoyable to read what she felt and thought about what was going on in her life.

Because of this, I decided to start my own writing blog. I felt the title "A Mother's Mumble" would be fitting. Let me explain why. I have been blessed with a husband who acts ALOT like his father. If you haven't seen a picture of them together, it's pretty scary how alike they look. Along with looks, they also share many life characteristics. One in particular, they both tend to mumble sometimes. I have learned over the years (almost 10 together and 5 married, but who is counting), that there are two ways to deal with the mumble. One - you can smile and nod and act like whatever they said is exactly right and they can never be wrong, or two - ask them to repeat and listen carefully while trying to understand.

So, that is how I want you all to enjoy my blog. You can either read it and try to understand where you can, and relate or laugh where you can, or politely smile and nod and move on.

God Bless...