Thursday, February 21, 2008

Guilt

What a strong emotion...guilt. Someone very wise once told me that you can't feel guilt unless you have something to feel guilty for. I used to believe that, but now I beg to differ. Being a mother brings it on for me. I feel guilty when I am not playing with Taylor and doing something for me. I feel guilty when I can't buy him new clothes all the time. I feel guilty when we battle at lunch or dinner time because he doesn't want to eat or try new things. I feel guilty when I lay him down with a water bottle, because he is 17 months old. I feel guilty when I think I want to go back to school, because that is more sacrifice on my family, especially my son. I feel guilty to think I won't be with him during the day. I feel guilty to think my husband will have to sacrifice his big house with a big yard for me to go back to school. I feel guilty that Taylor won't be able to get a sibling for a few years, if I do go back to school. I feel guilty even thinking these thoughts...because I know it's just me...being me...over-analyzing.

2 comments:

LeslieTummel said...

you shouldn't feel guilty. look at the big picture...if it's best for you long term, it's probably best to make the sacrifice for the short term too. just try to breathe a little ;)

Anonymous said...

You are not a true mother if you do not feel guilty. We all do. What you have to ask yourself is...Is what I am doing or not doing harming him in any way or in fact, am I making him more independent and self sufficient and am I securing a better future for him? If you said yes to the latter, then you have nothing to worry about! He will love a new sibling no matter how many years it takes. Love, Lore