Rough Mommy Days

Over the past week or so, my heart has been challenged as a mother. I know this is all a part of it, but it just seems to have fallen together all of a sudden. For one, Taylor had his big first fall. Check out his blog for some pictures. He is fine, and things could have been MUCH worse, but all the same, it still broke my heart to see him hurting. The first few nights after he had fallen were rough and it wasn't because anything was seriously wrong, it was because he could not get comfortable. He moves alot when he sleeps, so he kept hitting his scrapes, or rubbing up against the bed rail and just wanted Mommy to hold him. You know there is something wrong with Taylor or he doesn't feel well when he voluntarily wants you to hold him :) He has become too busy for this, so while I didnt like that he was hurting, I did enjoy the cuddling.

Secondly, on my way to dropping off Taylor yesterday morning I came across something I never wanted to see. While traveling in front of Bonnie Kate there was a child struck by a car. It was two cars behind me, so I didn't see it happen, but I did see all the parents on the other side of traffic react. Traffic was stopped and there was a father watching his car in front of me, and he said he would stay there, so I went to see if I could help. While my medical knowledge is basic, I didn't see anyone else trying to help. There were a few other women calling 911, but no one helping the child or his mother, who was right across the street when this happened. Both parties were screaming and crying, but for the most part the boy looked okay. Clearly scared, he was trying to climb on top of his mother, so that was a good sign. His movement looked fine and all I could see was a large gash on his head where he hit the pavement. I tried my best to comfort both him and the mother, but she made it perfectly clear that she did not want anyone touching her son that was not a doctor. Thankfully I heard sirens a few seconds later, so they were there quickly. I can't imagine how that would feel to see it happen, especially to your own children. Turns out the woman driving the car was trying to dial her cell phone and was not paying attention. Both children involved are fine and the driver has been punished. When I dropped Taylor off, all I wanted to do was hug him. He'll be big enough to go to school soon enough, and I can't imagine having to pass on the responsibility of watching him onto others.

Lastly, one of my worst fears happened. Usually I don't drop Taylor off in the mornings. Dustin goes into work later, so he does that, but today Dustin was out of town and I had a dentist appointment. When I went to tell Taylor bye bye, he cried. I tried to distract him, but he kept crying. After I walked outside, he opened the front door and stood at the glass storm door and cried more. I could see him as I was driving away...STILL CRYING. I looked back as I was up the street, and he was still there...talk about breaking your heart. It took everything I had to keep going to work. I know he was fine in a few minutes, but at that moment he was crying for me.

They really can play a number on your emotions, but also fill you with so much love at the same time.