Translation

So in high school I took French and I remember some of it. That helped me in college when I took more French. There was a patient not too long ago who came with her mother and her mother spoke NO english. Somehow I was the translator for a few minutes...go figure. Then in college I also took sign language. That was fun. I wish I had taken more of it, but I am also able to communicate VERY SLOWLY to someone if I need to. Now that I am an adult I have figured out I need to learn the most commplicated language of all....Toddler...AKA Taylorese. For those of you who have been around Taylor for about five minutes of his life lately, you know what I mean. The kid doesn't stop. For a kid who didn't talk till he was two and a half...he's making up for it. I think maybe he was just saving it up in his head and now he has no stop button or a filter. If he thinks it...he says it. Slowly I am starting to understand some of his new language and the way he uses it. As I figure out more I will let you know, but in the mean time here's a few helpful translations that might help you out.

(The Taylorese is the first of the statement in all caps...the English (AKA adult version) of the statement is the second part...from Taylor's perspective)

- SHINY = bright...either the light or the sunshine
- I NEED TO REST = procrastination...whatever it is you are wanting me to do, I'm gonna stop for a minute and see if you forget
- SHOW = any cartoon I want to watch
- PLEASE DON'T MOVE = I am going to go do something you wouldn't want me to do...if I get you to stay still, you can't see it!
- I'LL BE A BIG BOY AT THE DENTIST AND HELP HIM COUNT MY TEETH = Once we get in the office I am going to loose it and the only way the dentist will see my teeth is when I am screaming to get up and leave.
- NO CRYING AT THE BARBER SHOP = I am going to talk a big game to get us there and get some candy, but once I get in the chair, I'm only getting half a haircut before I bring on the tantrum.
- I'M NOT HUNGRY = I'm not hungry for what you want me to eat, but I'll take some fruit if you want to give it to me.
- WHAT ARE WE GOING TO TRY TONIGHT? = What three bites do I have to choke down at dinner to get fruit and oatmeal for supper?
- NO THANK YOU = Whatever you want me to do, eat or pick up...I'm not gonna.
- I'M SORRY = If I say this cute enough and give you a kiss, maybe I won't have to go to time out or get a spanking.
- I NEED TO GO POO POO = This always stops whatever I am having to do. I really don't have to poop, I might just pee. Maybe you'll forget what you were asking me to do while we are in the potty...
- I DON'T NEED TO POTTY = I'm busy right now, but in a few minutes I am going to be running for the bathroom to potty.
- I'M NOT TIRED. I HAVEN'T YAWNED YET. = If I haven't yawned, I don't have to go to bed.
- THE SANDMAN IS IN MY EYES...HERE LOOK = I'm tired. I really am.
- HI MOMMY...MY FRIEND IS ON THE PHONE...SSSHHHHH PLEASE = You might want to check and see if someone is REALLY on the phone. Chances are I have called 911 and the operator is looking for you.
- PLEASE LAY WITH ME FOR THREE SONGS = I really want you to lay with me for 20 songs. Once we get to the end of the second song I am going to ask you really sweetly if you would hug me and if you would please lay for one more song. Then I'll do this again when that song is over and see how far it gets me.
- ONE MORE TIME/LAST TIME AND THAT'S IT = Not even close to the last time. I've got a good three or four left in me.
- NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT = You better figure out what I just did...broke...spilled...
- UH OH MOMMY = This could be any number of things...start looking and figuring out now. Something is wrong...somewhere...
- YOU FORGOT SOMETHING = I need a hug, kiss and a nosey before you leave please

As you can see...not an easy language to translate, but lots of fun to figure out!